Lets try to write about everything!:)

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Re: Lets try to write about everything!:)

Post autor: violaaaaa » 28 lis 2009, 06:38

Maja & Kamilo, I found your texts very interesting.

I live in Australia and there is a mix bag of cultures and religions here. We do have Muslims as well. They like to live in the same suburbs, close to each other, so it's easier for them to continue the tradition, culture etc. People which were born in here are less strict if it comes to customs but emmigrants are still living like they were in they country.
You are right about woman's role - it feels actually like God made o women so men can relax and live an easy life, she is his slave. I will never forget - one day at the beach (45'C) - Muslim family - mother (wearing all black & a scarf), father in speedos + 8 kids!!! Mother was preparing their meals, waiting with dry towels, looking after them the whole time. The heat was unbelievable - she actually went to the ocean and through herself to the water to make her clothes wet!!! She didn't even take the scarf off! She was there to please everyone but noone cared about her, they didn't even respect her! What kind of life is that???!!!
I asked one Muslim why women are covering their heads - and he said - so only husband can look at her beauty, no other men is allow! :roll: :-o :shock:
So why do you look at other woman - I asked - he only laughed!!!
:-o
Men can do as he pleased, his wife cannot... Kamilo is right - she belongs to him like a part of furniture! That's so sad!!! Very often woman don't work so they depend on men! And that is a problem!
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Re: Lets try to write about everything!:)

Post autor: majamajamaja » 28 lis 2009, 08:40

It depends from country I think. And from education and family status. I´m sure, Kamilo is not same like them ;)
(just little provocation).
My husband f. eg. is just not like them. Maybe I would get more pressure from his mother, but I never lived in her country. I went only once time to visit them and to see, how they live and how they are. By the way, it is practically in the neighbourhood, it´s Indonesia.

But from my friend from Morokko I heared a few times: I wouldn´t let You do this (work in another town, than my husband or speak to another man), if You are my wife. The thing is: he couldn´t forbid me such things and we would argue much. In this points is discussion with me not possible.
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Re: Lets try to write about everything!:)

Post autor: violaaaaa » 28 lis 2009, 13:52

Maja, where do you live?
Does your husband pray 5 times a day?
Did you convert to his religion?
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Re: Lets try to write about everything!:)

Post autor: majamajamaja » 28 lis 2009, 19:52

Convert? Why? Is it "better" than Christianity? The question should be: does my husband convert to my religion? ange
(kidding)
We dont have any problems with religion. If we will get children, they will know both of them. They will be baptized and the boy(s) will be circumcized. I don´t eat pork because I don´t like and my husband respects me. Not because I follow his advises, but because I´m a human.

Oh, and we live in Germany. But later we maybe leave this place for a while and live on the beach in Indonesia (place, where I can wear my bikini, not headscarf).
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Re: Lets try to write about everything!:)

Post autor: violaaaaa » 30 lis 2009, 01:33

Kamilo & Maja, is that true - the oldest son in the family has to work & support his parents & other sibillings?

I know this Muslim guy - he is 24yo, he has 7 younger sisters. His Parents are not working, sisters are studying & he works 7 days a week, very often from 7am to 11pm!!! He has his own business (in other case he wouldn't be able to support them all!!!). He doesn't have 'normal' life like any other young guy & he doesn't complaint. He thinks that that's the way it should be. No one helps him, his father controls him... His father believes that it's good that his son works long hours so he doesn't have time to do stupid things!!! :-o :roll:
It looks like everyone is using him but I think - that's the culture. He says that he wants his sisters to finish study & get married & after he will think about himself!!!
:-o I wonder when??? His youngest sister is just 4yo!!! :shock: and who knows maybe father will work on some more... :-?

Is that normal for this culture?

I think - it's nice that he is taking care of family but isn't it the father responsibility???!!! Why he is putting this on son's shoulders?
Is that normal behaviour or the father is a lazy user? :roll:
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Re: Lets try to write about everything!:)

Post autor: majamajamaja » 03 gru 2009, 22:37

what a pity, Kamilo is´n here...

I asked my husband and he says, there are reasons for the family situation where the father cannot earn enough money for his children. Maybe he is ill and cannot work. Probably he is not just doing nothing because he is lazy. And let his son just work for everybody´s living costs.

In my opinion they are people who believe, everybody what U get, God gave to U. They do not (want) see the simple thing: cause - effect or action - reaction. They have so many children not because they have not used contraceptive. They have many children because God has given them. And God has given them also a smart and hard working son, so everything is ok! Very simple thinking. And very common. This is actually already become to the mentality of whole moslem nations I think.
If U have money, and the others don´t, why don´t You share?
This is not fair to this 24yo man who is working for at least 10 people... we say in Poland ... like a horse, but he agree with this situation. Maybe it could work to speak with him about starting his own family. This shall attract his thoughts more on his person. :roll: Or better - his own future.

And one thing more, that I don´t accept: the girls in the family maybe finish successfully their studies, but that´s all. They should stay by their family, get married in a short time and that´s all about their future. They´ll need their degree to better help their children at school. Stay at home and men has to earn money. (We know very well, how some men earn money. Just born talents.) I really don´t like it and I think many moslem woman even dont realize this fact.
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Re: Lets try to write about everything!:)

Post autor: violaaaaa » 03 gru 2009, 22:50

Maja, his father is not sick at all!!! He just doesn't want to work!!! He brought his family to Australia 8 years ago & the son feels like he owes to his father, and that's the way of paying him back!!! The son even bought the father (because the father wanted) a boat ($40,000) so he can enjoy fishing, take the family & friends and have fun! I believe, that his father is very selfish- that's all!!! They have one more son, he is just 6yo now, so I guess this one has to work for another 12 years! After the youngest son will take over & support them!!!

You are right with the girls - they are studying but before they finish UNI, they are already married!!! His sis 24yo (his twin) is already married with 2 kids, another 21 - married & waiting for husband to get a visa and come to live with her. They are already looking for a husband for 19yo one!!! And they are bringing this guys from their country - arrange marriage.

At the end of the day - is they choice, culture, tradition, believes but I just feel sorry for this young guy - his life is passing him by... and he doesn't even understand...
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Re: Lets try to write about everything!:)

Post autor: majamajamaja » 03 gru 2009, 23:15

My husband comment: it isn´t concerned with the religion or tradition or even with islamic life style. His father is definitely a (four-letter word -ing) lazy bastard.
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Re: Lets try to write about everything!:)

Post autor: violaaaaa » 03 gru 2009, 23:23

...and your husband is right!
I think - any other young guy wouldn't work to support everyone while his father is spending day - sleeping till 10am, going to the beach, fishing, taking frienfds & family on the boat, playing hero! Everyone needs a balance in life! Work but have time to relax! I would never expect my son to work so hard and support everybody! I will be there to help him & they don't even offer any help!
Sad life...

What do you think about an arrange marriage? What your husband is saying about it?
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Re: Lets try to write about everything!:)

Post autor: Kamilo » 04 gru 2009, 10:40

majamajamaja pisze:My husband comment: it isn´t concerned with the religion or tradition or even with islamic life style. His father is definitely a (four-letter word -ing) lazy bastard.
If your husband thinks that his father is a bastard, why he lets him make like that? Of what has he fear? It is also a kind of hypocrisy no? :!:
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